Hi – I’m Alberta and I’m happy you’ve stopped by today and that I have a chance to speak with you about conflict resolution and conflict management.
Most people have a very clear reaction when they begin to sense that they are in a conflict or about to be in a conflict. All of a sudden someone or something blocks the way. You may have a physical reaction like tears suddenly coming into your eyes, or a queasy feeling in your stomach. Sometimes it’s just an intuitive flash. Something does not feel right—or it does not feel fair. What’s happening? You are experiencing tension, a sense of contrast—you may even be experiencing conflict.
One of the most important discoveries you can make is that what you think about experiencing conflict—whether you think it can be good or it is bad somehow—actually begins to form your own reality. Your thoughts and your feelings about what you perceive to be conflict can create your own future reality.
Let’s face it, do you or anyone you know live a life that is free of conflict? One of my clients shared with me that understanding the real cause behind conflict, and then learning how to communicate about it should be taught in elementary schools. He said that if he had learned this earlier, it would have saved him from giving and receiving so much heartache.
The mere presence of conflict in our lives does not have to be bad or abnormal or result in heartache. It does not have to be a contest where someone wins and another loses. It’s natural, normal and present for all of us. Think of this amazing example from Mother Nature. Most of us probably enjoy getting out into nature to fish in amazing streams or lakes, to hike in the hills or mountains and enjoy a picnic in a lovely meadow or a portion of a forest, or to go to the beach. And we take special vacations to go and see the wonders of nature like the Grand Canyon, the Teton Mountains.
Well, how did all those beautiful scenes of mountains, canyons, deep lakes and fast flowing streams get created? These things were created by earth upheavals, violent conflicts between land and sea, wind, water, and rain. And the results are magnificent, undreamed of beauty for us to explore and enjoy. Think of tiny seeds dropped by birds pushing up through lava flows to grow coffee trees, or quilt-like blankets of colorful wild flowers covering rocky mountainsides. These things were made possible through conflict between the elements.
I like to think about conflict as a messenger that has just arrived. The messenger of conflict is designed to get your attention. A change is needed. And the real reason we are here in Earth’s schoolroom is to experience the changes that are necessary to become who we really are. When you get right down to it, the reason we set goals is because we want to go beyond where we are now. We want to feel more fulfilled, to be a better person, to achieve more and to help others do the same. So we are really here to learn, to shift, to change, to transform and move through the process of life.
If we want to accomplish our missions in life, it is not so much about where we are going but about the changes we will go through to get there. One of my favorite thoughts about this process was given to us by an ancient leader named Pericles. He said, “What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”
So the presence of conflict is a choice point. When conflict shows up and knocks on your door, you are in a position to choose whether the presence of change, tension or conflict might actually provide a benefit or a new opportunity for you or whether it will cause pain, fear of loss and lingering negative thoughts to process.
The keys to more harmonious personal and organizational productivity are the abilities to understand, manage and transform conflict. You CAN transform how things have been AND create more of what you really want in the future.
The big question is—how do you do that? That is what I would love to talk with you about. This is where a good coach can help, especially one who has a lot of experience in facilitating others through both intentional and unintentional conflicting events. It really is worth investing some time to gain a good understanding of what causes conflict. What are the opportunities it can open up for us? And just how do we find that out? Where do we learn these things? How do we know what to say—or write—or do when it happens?
It can be comforting to know you have someone in your corner who just might have some ideas about these questions. You can say—I’ll just call my coach!
If you have questions about how I might be able to assist and empower you, please send me a message in the Contact Alberta tab and I’ll be happy to be in touch with you.
And I have a Free Gift for you! It’s a complimentary eBook to help you expand your communication skills. This booklet shares key concepts on Giving Messages, Receiving Messages and learning to listen. To receive your FREE Gift, CLICK on the button at the right-hand top portion of this Home Page to receive your eBook on these important Communication Skills. You will then get immediate access to your complimentary copy.
I invite you to browse around and be sure to check out my newly released book Transforming Everyday Conflict: Tools, Tips and Roadmaps to Better Communication and Stronger Relationships. It will be a good communication guide for you—and it will make a valuable, long-lasting gift for family, friends and coworkers in all your endeavors.
A Chinese publisher recently purchased the foreign rights to translate and publish this book in China!
Thank you for stopping by and I look forward to hearing from you!
And my wish for you is more Heart Peace Now!